Saturday, September 15, 2007

We become our image

Tonight, my friend told me how much she cares about me and she asked me if I minded the fact that she is presenting me to her 10-year-old daughter as the example which shows that gay people aren't bad people.


I knew I was accepted in that household. I just didn't know I was setting the standard.
I'm glad I didn't know before now. That's a lot of pressure.

We, as humans, tend to put people on pedestals. Being only human, people fall. They often fail to maintain whatever it was that got them there, or to skew, obscure or obsolete the good with less-than-perfect behavior.

My friend told me that her child feels safe with me and loves me.
I pay attention to the child who is often the only child in the house on a Friday night.
I'm interested in the things she is doing to keep herself occupied while the grown-ups talk and listen to loud music.

Tonight we played with the karaoke machine, making funny noises and telling stories until everyone else came into the living room to start singing.

Though I haven't got the desire to be a parent, I do like kids. There isn't as much pressure to converse a great deal. They are happy to have you paying attention and supporting/guiding them.

Some of the best times I had with the step-siblings was before my step-brother could drive.
I took him fishing and watched his artful and instinctive skill, and carried his tackle and bucket behind him. I think he was an osprey or a pelican in his last life, although I don't know what he could have done to be demoted back to human....

It hasn't been hard to be whatever it is my friend sees in me. I haven't really been conscious of how closely she's been watching. But now... I hope I don't let her or her daughter down.

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