Saturday, April 26, 2008

Time and Money

A boon of about two hundred dollars in the form of a quarterly work bonus came my way which was perfect because I need new tires.
Yesterday, I came home from work to discover a small puddle of oil in my parking place.
But my engine was just sealed not so very long ago, so I mentioned it to Joey who thought that it couldn't be my car because I take such good care of it.
I lit out to search for tire bargains and came home in the afternoon and parked in a different space.
Then I went out again a little later and found more oil under my car.
So much for tires. I hope this leak is less then $300.00. I hope it is repairable. I have been saving as much as I could for the past two years but it hasn't amounted to much. Not enough to buy a used car. And I am so in debt, I couldn't afford to make payments on even a used car.
I am chagrined! Perplexed! Upset! Hopeful!


While I was out today, I saw a woman I knew from work a few years back.
I had once yearned for her. We shared a good vibe. I liked her laugh. I was lonely.
Then time passed and I found out things about her from other friends and I recognized my good fortune once again in the fact that we never did get together.
For one instant when I saw her, I was excited... then I remembered... then I thought, "Thank God for my Joey!"

So many of my relationships started out with high hopes and expectant joy only to fall apart because I made the mistake of not getting to know the other person first. When I met Joey, I was seeing someone else who was 80 miles away and not able to give me much time. We worked on an innocent friendship. I needed someone to hang out with. I liked Joey because she fit in everywhere I went and could talk up a storm as counterpoint to my quiet nature. But that was just a bonus. The thing about Joey was that she was ready to receive what I offered. Some people just aren't ready for to let real love in. Some people aren't in the place where they can return it.


Then as I was that far into town, I decided I would go visit my father. We had a good visit and he told me more stories from his early life here. He had once owned a Studebaker. I'd never known that! He was telling me that he never really cared about cars, they were just a means of getting around to him.

I asked him how he decided that he wanted to be a Mason and he told me about his uncles who were policemen in Atlanta. He said that when he asked my grandfather for my mother's hand, my grandfather said she was a grown woman and she could decide that for herself. Then, my father had another question. "How do you become a Mason?" and my grandfather answered, "You just did. I'll be one of your sponsors and help you out."

I knew that my grandfather had something to do with it, but I never knew that it happened in the same conversation as the permission-for-her-hand-in-marriage moment.

I mention my visit to Dad because it is very valuable time.


I really need some money. (Asking Daddy is not an option.) I stopped at the grocery store on my way home and in the parking lot I had the thought that I would even do something criminal to try to catch up. But I couldn't imagine what I would do. I'm either too smart or too stupid to devise anything. I am too afraid of the repercussions of working with criminals. And I can't fathom the embarrassment of getting caught. And even though prison would provide an interesting dating pool, three meals a day and health care, there's no guarantee I would be on the top of the pecking order.
My toughness is spiritual, not physical. Alas!

So I opened up my e-mail and received a message about making money from home. Apparently, you call people and tell them they can make money by calling people and passing them information. Then they give you money so they can call people and wheedle money out of them and you get the money from their first person. And you get the money from that person's first person, too. (Naturally you have to make an investment, too.)
So you are stupid enough to give away money and smart enough to feed on greed. Nope. Too nauseatingly WRONG for this camper. I don't want to work a scheme with people who are stupid enough to go for it.

I have no delusions about money. I do play the office lottery pool, but I know the way to get money is to work for it.

I was chagrined yesterday, though, as I watched television with Joey. We watched bull riders and then skiers. They rode bulls and soared into the air and made thousands of dollars for doing it. I was disgusted. I need to find something that's fun and thrilling and people will pay me big bucks for. One soaring flip in the air or one dangerous ride on a bull and my yearly pay, or very near it, is made. In less than a minute. Wow!

Okay. Got any ideas? I'm open to suggestions and willing to work.

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