It's been a while.

Sometimes, there's a lot to write about.
What have I been doing when I'm not blogging?

When I'm not working or travelling to and from work:
I talk to Joey. I visit my father and step-mother. I play some of the games on myspace.
I watch a DVD from the library. I seek out old friends on Facebook. I watch YouTube.
I contemplate human nature. I think about living life to the fullest because we all must die.
I commune with the grandeur of the human spirit. I think about people who are killed in America for being gay or transgender. I think about the people of the Middle East and our soldiers, most of whom are young enough to be my child. I think about how much I want to wash my car. I remind myself not to spend money on things I can live without. People call me to dog-sit.

After attending a rally for marriage equality last weekend, I put a rainbow cat sticker on my car.
As if the "Vote No on 2" sticker wasn't enough of a way to out myself.
I don't mind the political sticker as much as the rainbow cat. It's like an invitation to a wild-eyed redneck and his pals to kill me or trash my car. But it's also a way of showing up for another gay on the road. I know it sounds silly, but we need each other's strength... and even that small signal can mean a lot to someone feeling the loneliness and isolation of a mostly unorganized subculture.

That Saturday, standing on the streets of Fort Lauderdale (Yes, we did go a long way to attend a rally.) was the last day of my invisibility. I'm still not in people's faces but I will no longer hide, either. It's all I can do for the cause of equality... and it is worth any price that must be paid.

I sometimes think about what if... because you never know how your life will end... and I want the people who love me to know that at the last moment of my life, I was not afraid to die and that I love them with every bit of my being.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm in no hurry to shuffle off the mortal coil!

It's just become clearer than ever that the majority of our friends, neighbors and co-workers are against us. They don't understand that we need and are entitled to our rites.

"An unjust law is no law at all." - St. Augustine

"Inconsistency is a marker of injustice." - Roger Helmer
http://www.rogerhelmer.com/unjustlaw.asp

Helmer was discussing a hunting bill but you can insert any legal matter into his essay.

The inconsistency is that in some places some homosexual people can marry, some can have their marriage recognized and the majority cannot.

The problem is that good people don't recognize gay people as human beings. Especially in this difficult economic time, the atmosphere of constant concern is nothing but divisive. We are struggling, so we push away anything that doesn't mirror us. Fear drives good people to do things they wouldn't do if they were actually questioning their motives.

You know what's amazing, though. Nothing I have said and nothing I have done will be of any consequence, except that I contributed to the struggle... and I will be disregarded. That's life. Young people ignore older people. Older people criticize younger people. Fear drives us to do both beautiful and terrible things.

Everyone starts the same and ends the same, in this plane, on this planet.

"Majorities sometimes pass oppressive laws; and it is the right, or even the duty, of fair-minded people to resist, whether... "by violence, or by civil disobedience."
http://progressiveliberty.blogspot.com/2008/06/debaters-unjust-law-is-no-law-at-all.html

It is to our great disadvantage that gay people (and all of those I lump under the umbrella of the word "gay") are not a separate color of people. Maybe if you saw who we are and how many we really are, things would be different. Unfortunately, we can hide like chameleons for decades or even lifetimes behind a mask of heterogeneity.

The truth is we are just regular folk and part of every day life. Most of us are not pretty boys in tight shorty-shorts dancing on Pride parade floats. But THANK GOD for those people who have been brave enough throughout history to be unashamed of what they really are... and to flaunt it and cause dialogue.

It's funny that I suddenly concluded that the consequences of being a gay face, whatever they may be, don't matter to me now. I've wasted so much time being afraid.

My dilemma now is figuring out the verbiage for a killer sign for the next marriage equality rally.